The unsupportive spouse, and why it's your fault

My wife and I got into a fight because of you.

And it was all my fault.

But I'll tell that story in a minute...

There is a harsh reality of change, of resistance arising in response to you chasing your dreams:

The folks who love you won't get it.

In fact, they're going to push back.

They're going to misunderstand.

They're going to discourage you.

But you need to recognize, the same fear you've experienced about going pro is the same fear they're feeling, but for different reasons.

One dear PTP reader wrote me recently that her husband doesn't understand the time she's putting into her 'hobby.'

This is a tale told many times by all kinds of artists, creators and makers as they pursued their passions.

"Why are you putting so much time into that? You have more important things to do."

It's okay; while surely this kind of response from a loved one or dear friend is discouraging and can draw out an emotional response (especially when you're already facing your own fears and tumult), this is your dream: the onus is on you to recognize and handle patiently the fears your spouse or others express, often in unobvious ways.

We all resist change. It's built into us as a survival mechanism - we're built from the lizard brain out to find and live a stable life. Don't rock the boat. Don't fix what ain't broke.

While through our reading about the Resistance we learn to see and practice overcoming the many roadblocks we put in our own way, it is much more subtle and disarming when we face that Resistance in the form of our loved ones' opinions and concerns.

They only want what's best for us, right?

They don't want us to get hurt, or embarassed, or to disappoint ourselves.

If they don't get it, why do we naively think anyone else will? Much less pay us for our foolishness!

Those of us blessed with interested, curious, supportive spouses, friends, and loved ones are in the minority - if you have these kinds of voices in your life, be grateful for them every chance.

Most of us are in circles of people who live in unconscious survivor mode - they're just trying to get by.

Your passion is...out of place.

Your dream disturbs their sense of well being.

Your facing your fears and chasing your vision of success puts them in a subconscious position of facing their own fears, of defining their own success. In the right circles, this is a powerful way you can enable others' best lives; in typical social circles, however, people respond to your passion as a threat.

They don't understand it. They don't have a fire in their hearts, so they don't 'get' yours.

They feel awkward when you get fired up and talk about your art, your business, your dream. They're not actively trying to discourage you, but their ego is trying to protect itself in the presence of your grand aspiration.

This is normal.

And it's okay.

I know; when it comes to something you care about so much, you ask: how can they care so little? How can they be so mean? Why are they holding me back?

And of course, as these are people from whom you typically seek wise counsel, you hear them - you listen - and you begin to question yourself.

Good dreams lose steam when the dreamer loses heart.

You can't let this happen.

Your dreams - and your heart - deserve better than to give up because someone else dumps a bucket of water on your fire.

Just like so many fears, taking control requires recognizing this resistance for what it is, and why it happens.

When your spouse uses certain language that makes your dream feel small - words like hobby, silly, waste of time, unimportant, a distraction - they're not trying to hurt you or discourage you; they're showing you they don't understand what you're trying to do, or why.

And we all fear the unknowns, right? We fear what we don't understand.

As part of that, we fear change.

We especially fear change when it comes to those people we hold closest to our hearts.

Consider: if your spouse or best friend didn't truly care about you (both individually and as an important, integral part of their lives), they'd gladhand you and have no real investment in what you do. "Sure! Go for it! (Why do I care...)"

The passion you have for becoming a part time professional photographer can be interpreted subconsciously as a threat: as your losing interest in that person, or their not being good enough to make you happy, or your drifting away from them, or their losing time with you to this passion, or your growing beyond them.

This is okay, it's normal. But sometimes this subconscious fear in your spouse manifests itself in the form of discouragement and belittling.

You have to recognize, they're already very happy with you - they're in their comfort zone with you. Your newfound passion for the idea of becoming a working artist destabilizes that comfort zone.

It's hard enough for we artists, driven by our passion, to reach beyond our comfort zones. It can be even harder for our loved ones to be brought by us out of theirs.

They don't understand.

Yet.

When my wife and I started dating, I had already been a professional photographer for years - there was no big change to grow through there.

But when I launched PTP and started pouring my heart into my writing, helping startup photographers learn the art of business, we went through growing pains.

Especially with three young children at home, it became harder and harder for her to understand why they were home and I was out writing all evening, or all day on a Saturday.

She broke down and asked me one night, "This thing you're doing doesn't even make any money - why are you spending your time writing instead of with us?"

Ouch.

I deserved that.

Remember earlier where I said the onus lies with us to help our loved ones understand our passion projects?

I'd done a horrible job of it, and I missed the warning signs until she bravely and rightfully challenged me.

Since, I've helped her understand what PTP means to me and could one day mean to our family so far as an income, and she's helped me to better schedule my time so my writing takes as little away from our family as possible.

Now, the encouragement is mutual, and I'm free both emotionally and creatively to give you guys my best work with every post.

Give yourself, and your loved ones, grace in this transitionary period as you move into the roles of working artist and business owner.

Be patient, and share your vision, your passion, with compassion.

Show that your marriage or friendship is stable, safe, important, and wanted, and that in fact your pursuing your passion will only bring more verve and life to your relationship.

NEXT STEPS

  • Set up a coffee or quiet date with the loved on you're struggling with. Have a sit down, as we say in Texas. Visit with them about your dream, about your vision for your art and business. And listen with new ears, hear their words with new understanding, and help them recognize that what you're working toward is no threat, but instead a blessing, for your relationship.
  • Brainstorm session: get out your pen and paper. What fears do you hold close to your heart about going pro? What fears do you think your loved one may have about you going pro? How do you think they could feel threatened? What would you say to them to reassure them that your passion project will never reduce or replace them? File this away in your Brainstorms folder.
  • My writing at PartTimePhoto.com exists to serve your needs as an amateur photographer making the transition to paid professional. I appreciate and welcome your readership, and invite you to subscribe to my e-mail newsletter at the top of any page of this site.
  • What's the biggest struggle holding you back right now? E-mail me your answer (yes, right now!), and let's make a breakthrough today.
  • If anything in this post has spoken to and inspired you, please comment below, drop me an e-mail, or call or text me at 830-688-1564 and let me know. I'd love to hear how you use these ideas to better your part time photography business!

The two biggest fears of artists-turned-owners

Two of the biggest fears we artists-turned-owners have about 'going pro' are:

1. Selling ourselves

2. Selling our art

The positive attention and encouragement we receive as enthusiastic amateurs can give us a false impression that we don't have to 'work' to earn business - that we can just exist, just hang our shingle, publish our work to our portfolio site and Facebook, and paying clients will beat a path to our door.

Typically introverts, folks like you and me are fueled from within instead of without. Shy or not, social situations deplete us more than they energize us, and our alone time is where we regroup and recharge.

We're also humble creatures. We're quiet, unassuming, and while we don't brag, we enjoy positive attention as much as anyone.

So the prospect of marketing and selling - getting our art, name, and message in front of our ideal clients - sends a lump straight to our throats.

The only thing most human beings fear more than death is public speaking, and both marketing and selling feel like close siblings to this boogeyman.

So what's an introvert to do?

There are always going to be "best practices."

But so many of those best practices are hand-built by and for extroverts. A quick flip through most Marketing 101-type books shows as much (and can set an introvert to reckless perspiring).

I'll always encourage you to step outside your comfort zone to test the waters on good ideas and practices - you never know when what's holding you back is a true aversion, or just an unnamed and unfounded fear that can be overcome with doing.

We'd all love to have business fall in our lap.

But we can't just wait for our clients to find us.

The secret sauce for you will be finding the most effective and efficient methods of marketing and selling that get (and keep) you booked solid, maximizing both your enjoyment and profit for the time you invest in your business.

The advantage obviously goes to the extroverts, folks energized by the attention of others.

As I've written, attention is fantastic for business, so long as it leads to paid work.

Three important things:

  • Accept that the fastest ways to get booked solid are extroverted practices;
  • Accept that the maximum profits per client are going to come with extroverted sales practices;
  • And accept that your "best practices" as an introvert aren't going to look like their best practices.

You need to write your own playbook.

And you know what?

That's okay.

Don't buy into the cult of maximum productivity and maximum efficiency.

Don't worship profits at all costs.

The boutique photographers turned business gurus are some of the worst about selling you their $500 playbook without knowing anything about you or what kind of player you are.

Let's be real: you don't have to do this.

You chose photography.

You chose to go pro.

You're doing all of this because you want to.

You never have to incorporate practices into your business that make you hate being a professional photographer.

Stretch yourself, test yourself, challenge yourself, but never forget that you are in ultimate control.

As always, you define your success - nobody else.

What then are your blood, sweat, and tears worth if you build a business that brings you no joy? That, in fact, saps your energy, creativity, and happiness?

You face two great tragedies: succeeding in building a business you hate, and failing to try at all.

There's a huge range of opportunity between these poles: plenty of room to study, practice, learn, test, fail, adjust, experiment, succeed, do better, do worse, and every moment, take another step closer to building a business you enjoy - even love.

I can't imagine the last 15 years of my life without Outlaw Photography; all of the friends I'd have never met, art I'd have never made, money I'd have never been paid with which to bless my family, the stories I'd have never earned for the telling, the blog I'd have never written (howdy y'all!)...

The blessings have been countless.

If I had never pushed myself outside my introvert comfort zone, I'd have never plumbed the depths of my talents as a marketer or salesman; I'd have never tried new things, broken new ground within myself, and discovered where my honest personal limits lie.

If I had forced myself to continue with "best practices" which made me miserable, that despite facing my fears continued to create more stress than success for me, I'd have burned out. There would be no Outlaw Photography to serve my clients or enable life experiences for my family we couldn't otherwise afford.

I found my balance.

Not by luck, but by consistently trying new things, testing myself and adjusting course by what new things I learned - about photography, business, and myself - along the journey.

Give yourself the opportunity to succeed.

To do what you think you can't.

To realize you're capable - and maybe even enjoy - things you didn't think you could do.

And to have tested and consciously chosen not to adopt the "best practices" which leave you burned out and depleted.

I could have made more money.

I could have booked more shoots.

I could have done a lot of things that would make my business more successful on paper.

But I'm thankful I didn't.

I am thankful for the strength to challenge myself and the wisdom to discern which of the countless branching paths to success best balanced risk and reward - choices unique to my personality, my experiences, my strengths and weaknesses.

Let me assure you, it was a messy, disjointed, graceless, downright butt-ugly adventure. Lord of the Rings, it was not. I'd have never found my personal success without many trials and errors.

The indefatigable villain named Resistance fought like hell on every battleground to deter me from my victories.

But I persisted.

And I am so, so glad that I did.

Don't give up, fellow introvert.

Marketing and sales aren't as bad as the boogeyman in your head has made them out to be.

You will find what works best for you, your own best practices, and you'll learn to thrive just like I have, just like countless other artists who were able to reach just far enough outside their comfort zones to grasp success.

Remember the “self” in self-promotion is you, and guess what? You are in charge of you! Introvert or not, you make the calls on what fits and what doesn’t. So do things in the unique way that works for you." - Paul Jarvis, Effective Marketing For Introverts

Next Steps

  • Let's make some lists! List 1: Let's say you are absolutely not allowed to do any marketing or sales that you don't know for sure, right this moment, you would enjoy. How would you market yourself? How would you get your art and message in front of your target market? List every venue, physical and digital, every opportunity, every method you can think of to make the connection between what you have to offer and Your People.
  • List 2: Now, make a list of every marketing idea and effort you can think of that isn't on List 1; all of the extrovert stuff, the public speaking, the cold calls, the in-person introductions and Asks, the direct approach, the collaborative work, the PR / press opportunities, absolutely anything and everything you can think of that would get your art and message in front of your target market that isn't on List 1.
  • List 3: Pick three marketing ideas from List 2 that you believe wouldn't kill you, but would help you get more attention and bookings. Three things you think you can do, but don't think you would enjoy. Let's just say, for funsies, that you were going to do those three things. What are the all the baby steps involved? If you were really going to do them, outline the effort - what would be involved? What would it look like? What are the steps? What does that path look like?
  • You knew this was coming: Pick the idea from List 3 that you feel you're most likely to really do, and... Just Do It! Let go of the results. Focus on process. Disconnect from identifying with the success or failure of your efforts. Just...do. This is how you test yourself: look outside your comfort zone for an opportunity you would not naturally gravitate toward, make a map of the journey, and then adventure! No matter what happens, you will have grown - you'll have studied, learned, practiced, and grown as a marketer and business owner. Repeat this process as often as you can to really feel out the risks which lead to the best rewards.
  • Brainstorm session: Get out your pen and paper. If you weren't the one responsible for taking action on your marketing ideas - let's say you were given a nice grant to hire a master marketer to enact your dream marketing plan - what ideas would be your favorite? What would your marketing plan look like? What are the ideas that excite you about how they present your art and business to your community? Let your imagination run wild, free of the fear of having responsibility to act on anything you write down here. Later, mine this list of ideas for things you can slip onto List 2...and maybe List 3.
  • My writing at PartTimePhoto.com exists to serve your needs as an amateur photographer making the transition to paid professional. I appreciate and welcome your readership, and invite you to subscribe to my e-mail newsletter at the top of any page of this site.
  • What's the biggest struggle holding you back right now? E-mail me your answer (yes, right now!), and let's make a breakthrough today.
  • If anything in this post has spoken to and inspired you, please comment below, drop me an e-mail, or call or text me at 830-688-1564 and let me know. I'd love to hear how you use these ideas to better your part time photography business!

Are you an artist or an attention whore?

Ouch.

Okay, normally I'm not so hard on you guys.

But I've got to give you some tough love for a minute - it's for your own good.

Some of you don't want to be professional photographers.

You're reading PTP, you're taking some photos, you're dreaming of the camera gear you want to have and the professional image and recognition that comes with owning your own creative business.

But...why?

If you're stagnant - if you're procrastinating on launching, or finalizing your pricing, or perfecting every pixel of your web site instead of hustling paid photo shoots...you have to ask yourself an important question:

"Am I an artist or an attention whore?"

Do you want to hustle? Do you want to market yourself in your community? Do you want to learn to sell so well that you're able to perfectly match a client to a product offering, and maximize your profits in the process? Do you have a heart of service for your clients? Do you want to fail forward and fail faster? Do you want work as much on your business and marketing as on your art?

Or do you just want attention?

Hey, it's human nature - we all want to be liked, to be popular, and especially as artists, to be recognized for the work we do. We all love the Likes, the kind words, the glowing testimonials.

But, if you feel stuck in first gear with your business, is it because you don't really want to own and run a business? Do you just want the attention of a professional photographer?

Let me be first to raise my hand: I went through a years-long phase of shooting for attention and the social high, benefiting neither my business nor my bank account. I can't tell you how many hours I poured into shooting local sports, into six-hour 'fashion' photo shoots, getting attention for attention's sake.

My MySpace friends list was full, but my bank account was empty.

There's nothing wrong with creating art for fun, creative expression, or even out-and-out attention.

Attention is fantastic for business...

...when it's leveraged into paid work.

If you're ready to be a paid professional, to grow your business into a blessing for your community and your finances, you have to transmute attention into business.

This is marketing alchemy.

This is what separates paid professionals from looky-loos.

If you're just in this for attention - you're in no rush to get paid, you 'just want to make enough to pay for the hobby,' you spend more time on Facebook than creating art, you've been 'building your portfolio' with free shoots for years, you've read 13 blogs and books and magazines this week on photography and camera gear and not one on small business or marketing, you're talking about becoming a professional photographer but taking no steps and making no tangible progress...

It's okay.

No judgment here.

You don't have to change anything you're doing. I'm truly not trying to make you feel bad, or call you out in a bad way.

Your photography, your business, and everything you do within it, and every reason you do it, is yours to manage and enjoy; never forget, you do this because you want to, and you're always in charge.

But I don't think you're here because you just want attention.

If you're elbows deep in PTP, if you're reading these words, you're more than ready for more than just transient attention.

You're ready to take bold steps.

You're ready to finalize that price list, settle on a name for your business, and land your first paid clients.

You're ready to step up, take risks, fail forward, focus, to take action and not just read and dream.

You're ready to check off that to-do list.

You're ready to take action, to put yourself out there, even if you do it wrong - to take imperfect action.

You're ready to disappoint a client, kick yourself in the ass, learn, then get over it and move on.

You're ready to make mistakes - and learn from them.

You're ready to schedule the time every day, every week, to make your dream of being a professional photographer a reality - baby steps.

You're ready to put a stake in the ground, finalize the 'details' of your business, and start doing business instead of just (over)preparing for it.

You're ready to leverage every ounce of attention you get with your art into testimonials, referrals, marketing mojo, repeat clientele: money in the bank.

You're ready.

You're here. Right now. You're ready.

You are not an attention whore. You may have been acting like one for too long, but we're on the march now; we're professionals, and we're done with the procrastination horsesh*t that has turned our blazing passion and limitless potential into a slog through deep mud.

I had to learn to do this with my photojournalism for the local paper.

Instead of just soaking up the attention of a great front page photo from under the Friday Night Lights, I learned to make the ask: when complimented on my work, I'd steer the conversation to my professional services, and seek out the needs of my potential client then and there.

I'd make the ask; I'd ask for their business in that very moment.

And I got it almost every single time.

Leverage.

I learned to do this with my fashion work. Few styles get as much attention from the hip, artistic, and young (read: lucrative high school seniors), as fashion photography. Every Facebook Like and comment becomes an opportunity to make the ask and land a new client.

Attention is a good thing.

Even more so, in my book (and I believe in yours too), when that attention is alchemically transformed into hundred dollar bills.

When I pose the question, "Do you really want to be a professional photographer?", it's okay if you don't truly know - if you're not blazingly sure you're up for all this.

But I implore you:

Try.

If you've come this far, if you have the spark of a professional artist within you, I can't encourage you enough to try. Make a go of it. Give it all you've got.

If down the road you're unhappy, if you're burning out because you can't find a way to enjoyably balance your art with business, then stop.

I'll say again: your business is by you and for you. Verily, you're a blessing to your community and clients in the art you create for them, but you're the boss - you never have to do anything you don't want to.

You can always go back to creating art for the pure enjoyment of it.

You can always go back to just shooting, processing, and posting for attention; for funsies.

But I believe you've got a lot more in you, and that's why you're here.

Dive head-first outside of your comfort zone. Learn who you are, and what you're capable of. Challenge yourself. Strive. Persevere. Dream, and Do.

Start where you are

I love being a professional photographer.

I love the creativity, the wonderful clients who become lifelong friends, I love volunteering and serving my community, and I love that the money I earn with my art blesses my family with comforts and life experiences we couldn't otherwise afford.

An inherent interest in the business, marketing, and sales of professional photography is in no way a prerequisite to success.

Start where you are.

There is no right way, no perfect course of action; hell, even the 'best practices' aren't surefire keys to success.

Success is a process - it's trying new things, guided by the knowledge you gain from books and blogs and fellow photographers, and failure is a big part of that process. You have to fail forward, make mistakes, even embarrass yourself a few times.

But that's what professional success looks like. It looks like perseverance, tenacity, hunger, focus, failure, practice, learning, attention, leverage, humility, and courage.

Where you are today is not where you will be tomorrow. The world is turning, whether you choose to make your move or not. If you're not taking action, even just baby steps, the world - and your dream - is passing you by.

You're here, you're breathing, and you have a camera in your hand.

That's called opportunity.

Now: Try.

Next Steps

  • Get unstuck. Right now. I know there's at least one, two, a few things burning in your mind right now, ways you know you're procrastinating because you've been satisfied with attention and dreaming instead of taking bold steps to be the professional you dream of. What decisions do you need to make? What stake can you drive in the ground right now in making your business real? What brave thing will you do today?
  • Brainstorm session: get out your pen and paper. There's a road between where you are this moment and where you need to be to call yourself a professional, to be ready to ask for and land paid work. What does that road look like? What are the baby steps between here and there? Don't worry about what you don't know, no map identifies every pebble or crack in the road. Take the time to lay out every single baby step, every action big or small you can think of that will get you to the point where you'll choose to ask for and earn paid photography work (I word it this way for a reason: you will never be 'ready,' there will never be a 'right' time). Schedule the time, as little as five minutes a day, on your calendar for the coming week to work on these steps. Add them to your to-do list. Then do it, step by step by step, no matter how confused or lost or imperfect you feel about it; keep moving forward. File this away in your Brainstorms folder (and schedule the time on your calendar a month from now to pull this out and check off everything you've accomplished - which if you do the work, I guarantee, you'll be amazed at how far you've come in just 30 days).
  • My writing at PartTimePhoto.com exists to serve your needs as an amateur photographer making the transition to paid professional. I appreciate and welcome your readership, and invite you to subscribe to my e-mail newsletter at the top of any page of this site.
  • What's the biggest struggle holding you back right now? E-mail me your answer (yes, right now!), and let's make a breakthrough today.
  • If anything in this post has spoken to and inspired you, please comment below, drop me an e-mail, or call or text me at 830-688-1564 and let me know. I'd love to hear how you use these ideas to better your part time photography business!

Is your success muscle atrophied?

My success muscles have been atrophied for most of my adult life.

And I don't think I'm alone in that boat.

When was the last time you had a win?

I mean a big, fist-pumping, heel-kicking, shout-it-from-the-rooftop victory.

I'm not discounting the peace of being grateful for your daily life - your day job, your family, your recreation. Learning to celebrate the small and simple things of life has made mine immeasurably better.

But you're reading PTP right here, right now, because you're not where you want to be. Either with your art, or with your business, or more than likely, both.

You want to put some big marks in your Win column.

Little as you or I want to hear it though, success is a process, and that process is made up of many small wins - those wins are earned through our making good choices.

I'm not talking about the perfect choice - anything but. Our obsession with perfection leads us to greater failure than almost anything else.

Many times, any choice is a good choice because the alternative is to make no decision at all - to do nothing, to wait for more information, to wait until we feel 'ready,' to wait for the right time, to take no action whatsoever.

That's your lizard brain putting the shackles on your success, over and over again. That's your success muscle in a state of atrophy.

Atrophy: a gradual decline in effectiveness or vigor due to underuse or neglect.

Forming a positive habit is like trying to do a record-breaking deadlift after taking a few years off from the gym.

Odds are aginnit, as my daddy would say.

The muscles in our body are a perfect analogy to the muscles of creativity and success in our mind and spirit.

If you lift regularly, properly fueling your body and following a time-tested plan, you're going to break your personal records.

If you create on a regular basis, you will be more creative.

If you learn and practice decision making that leads to success (often through the natural process of trial and failure), you will be more successful.

This is pretty simple cause and effect, sowing and reaping. Success is nigh inevitable for those willing to do the (right) work.

But we humans are anything but simple, aren't we?

  • We Americans eat out an average of over five times a week. A quarter of us eat fast food every single day. This stuff is complete poison, the myth of healthy food only being for rich people has been debunked, we all know better...but we still choose poorly, don't we?
  • Even after a heart attack, only one in seven of us will make any lasting changes to our diet or exercise.
  • Fifty percent of us make New Year's resolutions. Eighty-eight percent of us don't follow through; 25 percent of us will have bombed within the first week.

Even a major life crisis or health issue is statistically unlikely to move us to make better choices.

Sometimes (okay, many times) it feels like we fall short more often than we step up. Our success muscle is atrophied.

Hey, let me slip my hand up, because I'm as bad as anyone.

Even after I herniated two discs in my lower vertebrae, nearly paralyzing myself from the waist down, it's taken over 10 years for me to finally follow my chiropractor's advice and take my weight loss seriously.

Even after my doctor told me I should be on blood pressure medication, it took me years to consistently change my diet. I'd go months eating the most indulgent food I could afford, out of a rebellious nature as much as the emotional addiction to the food-induced high.

Even after enjoying wonderful success with my blogging (thank you PTP readers!) , I am just now (like, as I'm writing these words to you) making real progress on my writing and production habits outside of my day job.

Hell, I've been newspapering for 15 years, and I still don't stay focused day to day the way I want to.

Getting Better at Getting Better

I've finally turned the volume down on my ego enough to accept a few things.

I've accepted that success is a muscle, just like creativity and strength - if you don't use it, you lose it.

I've accepted that I don't know what's best, and my perfectionism is an excuse for half-assed mediocrity, not a discerning standard of excellence.

I've accepted that baby steps are the only way I will ever make lasting change in my life.

I've accepted that I am nowhere near as powerful, capable, or smart as I seemed to think I was. I cannot use my strengths to bypass the necessary steps of progress and skip straight to success. No matter the hands building it, every house is raised from the ground up. Every shortcut weakens the structure.

I've accepted that it is my character, the man I am and the man I am purposefully becoming, which is going to determine my success in this life - not how many hours I work, how late I keep the candle burning, how many to-do items I can juggle at once, how many people I please before 'paying myself first' with my time, or how many books or articles I read without changing myself or taking action inspired by what I've learned.

I think I spend more time scared of the unknown than I do the known, of undefined fears than the defined.

How about you?

I'm tired of living scared, friends. I want to make life happen, to live my legend.

I want to try and fail.

I want to get knocked down, get up again, and come out swinging - over and over and over again.

I want to be proud of myself because even when it seems the universe conspires against me, I pulled out my keyboard and sat down to write the post you're reading now.

I want to see the look on my kids' faces when I say, "Get your britches on guys, we're going to Incredible Pizza!", because I did the work and failed forward and persisted through to success (protip: success can be as simple in part time photography as being able to buy your friends a round of drinks, or take your kids out to Chuck E. Cheese).

I want to share laughter and wine and an incredible view of the night sky with friends I cherish.

I want to feel like what I'm putting into this life is coming back to me, in freedom - in rewards monetary and social.

I bet you'd like to feel the same way.

Look At Your Why

Why do you want to be a professional photographer?

What will creating art do for your spirit?

What will laughing with new friends, new clients, do for your joy?

What will the feeling of growing your savings, or building an emergency fund, or having extra play money do for your self-esteem?

What will the financial freedom you're creating for yourself and your family do to lighten that weight sitting on your chest?

What could you accomplish if your success muscle were stronger? What would you do differently today and every day if you felt strong enough and confident enough to do what's right instead of what's easy?

What's your Why?

Be clear with it. Drill down on it. Get at the core thoughts and feelings you want to experience because you are choosing the challenge (and opportunity) of being a professional photographer.

There is no right or wrong answer. If you want fame, to be recognized for your art, to be published, for your mom and dad to be proud, to prove your doubters wrong, to make money, to enable vacations and life experiences for your kids, to just exercise your talent while getting paid; whatever your Why, it's a good one, worthy, and all yours.

Meditate on your Why often. Affirm to yourself daily that the choices you're making - to work hard, to reach beyond your grasp, to take baby steps (no matter how small), to fail forward, to get out of your comfort zone, to focus, to succeed - are going to change your life and make your Why possible, even rewards you can't yet imagine.

There is no limit.

One more time, to be clear:

There is no limit.

Wherever you want to get with your art and your business, you can get there.

Exercise your success muscle.

Start doing the work today.

Then do more everyday.

So your someday can one day be today.

Next Steps

  • Brainstorm session: get out your pen and paper. List every reason you can imagine why you want to be a successful professional photographer. Peer forward five or 10 years: What does that look like? What do people think of you? What do your clients say about you? How does your success change your life, the lives of those you care about? How does it make you feel? What does your perfect day look like with your goals met? Use this as fuel to define and refine your Why. Know what it is you're meditating on, what you're affirming to be in your life, and why. File this away in your Brainstorms folders.
  • Look at your calendar, today and seven days forward. What can you do with today, tomorrow, and each coming day to exercise your success muscle? Make yourself a simple, common sense, extremely doable plan for the next seven days and what you'll do each day (no matter how small - I'm talking down to five solid minutes small) to exercise your success muscle. These will be the first wins of your new season as a motivated and daily-striving professional photographer. In seven days, get on your calendar and make another list. Schedule the time, no matter how little, and commit as boldly and surely to those actions as you would a lunch date with your best friend or a sales meeting with a client. Commit to your dreams, one slice of time and one day at a time. You won't believe how far you've come in the next three months.
  • My writing at PartTimePhoto.com exists to serve your needs as an amateur photographer making the transition to paid professional. I appreciate and welcome your readership, and invite you to subscribe to my e-mail newsletter at the top of any page of this site.
  • What's the biggest struggle holding you back right now? E-mail me your answer (yes, right now!), and let's make a breakthrough today.
  • If anything in this post has spoken to and inspired you, please comment below, drop me an e-mail, or call or text me at 830-688-1564 and let me know. I'd love to hear how you use these ideas to better your part time photography business!

Accountability is the plateau killer

Like skydiving and asking a girl to dance, sometimes you have to experience a dreaded act before you realize how awesome it can be.

Accountability has always been that way for me.

I grew up an only child, homeschooled, with one real friend (and a handful of seasonal cousins).

I was a loner by environment, which grew to be my nature. I became extremely self-sufficient, from my education to my life and entertainment.

Unfortunately, I missed those early lessons of teamwork and the power of accountability.

Only in the past six months have I experienced how accountability can move mountains in my life.

My vision of accountability as a tool for reaching goals was of an overzealous (and way too perky) fitness trainer calling me at the butt crack of dawn to yell at me to go run.

Or my mom asking me if my underwear is clean. Every day.

Or some overly helpful friend, in whom I would confide my desire to lose a few pounds, then criticizing my every meal choice and telling me to eat more fiber.

Until I finally experienced it, I never imagined accountability to be such a powerful, completely enjoyable way to turn my dreams into reality.

Where I Found Priceless Accountability

The amazing Steve Arensberg of Free of Gravity, under the umbrella of Scott Dinsmore's tribe, launched in January the San Antonio Live Your Legend group - where folks bootstrapping passion projects gather to exchange updates, ideas, and encouragement.

This group has changed my life.

A lot of this change has been behind the scenes, but in the post you're reading now and beyond, the effects are tangible.

Having a group of passionate, empathetic, encouraging folks with whom I can share my successes and failures has proven to be the greatest catalyst for change in my life since discovering gurus like Michael Hyatt, Jeff Goins, and Tim Ferriss.

From the thought leaders, I'm forever indebted for teaching me what to do and how to do it.

From my fellow Live Your Legend folks, my peers turned friends and accountability partners, I've learned how to get it done.

In sharing my passion project and my goals with these folks, I've had to take my head out of the clouds of concepts and ideas and possibilities, and put my boots on the ground. I've had to take my vision and turn it into an action plan - and take measurable action on it.

Every one of us reports on our plans and progress every meeting. And every one of us is invested in the success of everyone else.

It's easy to disappoint ourselves. Let's be real - we're used to it.

But when you know there are going to be two, four, ten faces looking back at you as you talk about your successes and failures - folks who know your dreams, goals, and what you wanted to accomplish this month - it takes inaction, paralysis, and excuses off the table.

We can reason ourselves into a lifetime of personal disappointment.

It's a lot harder to spin that horsesh*t to a table full of friends who know better.

If you're reading this, it's time to get your dream of being a successful part time professional photographer out of the clouds, off your to-do list and into the real world.

It's time to make tangible progress.

It's time to put one foot in front of the other, even just baby steps.

But where you are a month from now and a year from now has to be measurably far beyond where you are today.

It starts right now.

Commit to your dreams.

Seek out a friend or a peer or a group of good people with whom you can share your dreams, passion and goals (you can find the Live Your Legend groups here, and there are countless artists and small business groups to be found on meetup.com).

Find folks you can get face-to-face with.

As artists, we're often introverts, and it can be sweat-pouringly hard for us to proactively seek out and reach out to others for help - to share our dreams, show our vulnerability and admit our failures.

You will find equal parts relief, excitement, and motivation when you're in a room with folks facing the same fears and challenges you are, discussing what is and isn't working, and sharing your journey with them.

Steve and I sat together over coffee tonight. We enthusiastically spoke of our fears, our dreams, what's holding us back, and why. We parted with a handshake and good hug, new ideas, new inspiration. I pulled my keyboard out of my backpack and started writing this blog post to you.

Accountability is encouragement.

Accountability is motivation.

It's mutual investment.

It's movement.

It's tangible, hands-on, boots on the ground, step-by-step progress.

Accountability is the plateau killer.

I don't know about you, but I'm sick of feeling stuck. I'm sick of sameness. I'm sick of the plateau, the rut, the daily disappointment in myself when I achieve nothing toward my dreams.

Has a day gone by where you haven't taken a photo? How about a week? Month? A season where you didn't really pick up your camera or do anything to get you closer to your dreams?

Life is too short and I am too excited about making my dreams come true, for the benefit of my family, my community, and you awesome readers here at PTP.

In the spirit of podcaster John Lee Dumas, I am truly on fire - everything in my life has led to this day, every hardship and challenge and miracle and blessing has led to the words you're reading this moment.

I am ready to ignite.

Let's do this together.

E-mail me. Tell me what your dream is for your part time photography business, and what's holding you back. I'll do everything I can to help.

That's why I'm here - to encourage, educate, and empower you on your journey from amateur photographer to paid professional. The pleasure, and honor, is mine.

"Your peer group are people with similar dreams, goals and worldviews. They are people who will push you in exchange for being pushed, who will raise the bar and tell you the truth.

Finding a peer group and working with them, intentionally and on a regular schedule, might be the single biggest boost your career can experience."
- Seth Godin

Next Steps

  • Find an accountability partner or group. Put their next meeting on your calendar. Clear the time; make it happen. If you hate it, if you puke in the trash can, it's okay - you never have to go again... But that won't happen. You're going to walk in a nervous wreck and walk out shocked at how much complete strangers care about your success.
  • While I'd strongly encourage you to establish a local accountability partner or group, if you need an in-between baby step, drop me an e-mail. Let me know how I can help, or if you just want to talk shop on a regular basis to keep your head in the game. I'm here for you, but I will continue to encourage you to find some folks local to you so you can get that inimitable face time with fellow dream chasers.
  • Brainstorm session: Get out your notepad and pen. What are the habits (or missing habits) that are most holding you back from making progress on your dreams? Think hard. Go deep. Really consider what changes would have the biggest impact on your growth. And they don't have to be photography-specific. For me, losing weight and improving my fitness is a huge goal that has a real effect on achieving my life goals. That translates into habits of meal preparation, healthy eating, and greater physical activity. Take your time and really identify all the ways you would like to change your personal actions or inactions, your behaviors, your choices, your attitudes, and write them all out. Don't let this list daunt you - we're all highly imperfect creatures. Now pick from that list the top three habits that are helping or hurting your ability to make your dreams reality; sticky-note this to your monitor (or mirror, or fridge) and be prepared to share this with your accountability partner or group. File the rest away in your Brainstorms folder.
  • My writing at PartTimePhoto.com exists to serve your needs as an amateur photographer making the transition to paid professional. I appreciate and welcome your readership, and invite you to subscribe to my e-mail newsletter at the top of any page of this site.
  • If anything in this post has spoken to and inspired you, please comment below, drop me an e-mail, or call or text me at 830-688-1564 and let me know. I'd love to hear how you use these ideas to better your part time photography business!

How to balance humility and confidence as a part time photographer

Most of the photographers I meet are very humble, and this is as much a source of their endearment as their failure to launch.

Humility with a lack of confidence is what's holding most of you back from taking the small daily steps needed to get your business off the ground and start earning an income with your art.

This beast was unmasked by psychologists in the 1970's as "Imposter Syndrome."

There's a balance to be had between the humility of knowing you always have room to improve, and the confidence to take daily steps to make those improvements.

Most of you don't understand why anyone would pay you $20 for your work, much less $200 or more.

I've totally been there my friends, over and over again. I spent years as a professional photographer with the same mindset, and even today (15 years in) I have to reach beyond my comfort zone to ask the price I'm worth.

"I wouldn't pay $XXX for my photos," is just the kind of trap start-up photographers fall into as they let fear talk them out of going pro.

There are plateaus in any arena of growth - in the gym, in the classroom, in a career, in artistry, in business. But you never stop striving. You never stop reaching. Humility will serve you well. So will the confidence to always move forward, come what may. Forward. Ever forward.

Balancing Humility and Confidence

Humility and confidence are two of a part time photographer's most powerful tools.

As a humble and confident photographer:

You have the humility to recognize your art can always be improved, and the confidence to know your art as it is today has value for clients, and thus salability.

You have the humility to offer affordable pricing to keep your shooting schedule full, and the confidence to charge enough that your average client sale leaves a big grin on your face.

You have the humility to know odds are highly against your having outgrown your equipment, and the confidence to create professional-quality (salable) art and experiences for your clients, no matter what gear you shoot with.

You have the humility to accept constructive criticism of your work, and the confidence to filter out bad advice that is mean, discouraging, or distracts from your artistic vision.

You have the humility to understand that your artistic vision today may not be what your artistic vision should be tomorrow, and the confidence to do your best work now knowing that six months or a year down the road you'll look back and say, "What was I thinking?" (I can't tell you how many iterations of 'artistic vision' I have gone through in the past 15 years. Even I get embarrassed looking at some of my older work - hell, some of what I did last year! - but professional photography is always, always, a learning experience.)

You have the humility to know that there will always be someone better - at photography, at marketing, at business - and the confidence to do your best work and never stop learning. Understand: you're not trying to be better than anyone else - you're trying to be better than who you were yesterday.

You have the humility to find a photographer (or several) whose work inspires you, and the confidence to reach out to those photographers for advice, mentorship, and constructive criticism (protip: if they don't respond or don't want to help, find someone who does!).

You have the humility to read a book (or magazine, or blog, or tutorial, or podcast) on photography, business, or marketing, and the confidence to take action - one action, or a series of actions - and make tangible improvements in your art, policies, practices, and exposure in your market.

You have the humility to recognize that if you're going to make your dreams come true, you're going to have to take action and put yourself out there - and the confidence to accept that vulnerability and take action anyway.

You have the humility to recognize that your art today is not what you want it to be, and the confidence to put your name out there as a professional photographer anyway, knowing the best way to get to where you want to be is to shoot often and enjoy the motivational rewards of running a business (and cutting yourself a paycheck) at the same time.

You have the humility to accept that your natural inclinations toward business and marketing are probably not the best practices, and the confidence to seek out those best practices and have faith in their efficacy (if you're still 'specializing' in a dozen different styles or niches of photography, I'm talking to you, friend).

You have the humility to to accept that it's a long road to where you want to be artistically and professionally, and the confidence to know that with small daily improvements, you'll get there faster than you think.

You have the humility to volunteer your photography talents to your church or a local charity, and the confidence to know what you give will come back 10 fold.

You have the humility to reach out to amateur photographers, and the confidence to help them through knowledge, mentorship, and most of all, encouragement.

You have the humility to ask a local business leader out to lunch, and the confidence to request their advice and mentorship.

You have the humility to never stop studying and practicing, and the confidence to fail and learn from that practice, and do it again and again, knowing progress is both incremental and inevitable.

You have the humility to know you need to practice on real subjects, and the confidence to ask your friends, family, and even strangers to pose for you.

And most importantly - you have the humility to accept imperfection in yourself and everything you do, and the confidence to know that your best effort - no matter how seemingly small - is leagues beyond everyone still sitting in front of their computers wishing they could be doing what you're doing.

It's not a to-do list - it's a mentality. It's an attitude. It's a philosophy. It's a way of being. And it's the best attitude to have if you want to accelerate your growth while enjoying every step of the journey along the way.

Next Steps

  • Stand up (yes, right now, I'm serious), and read this out loud: "I am worthy. I've come a long way, and I'm capable of more. I deserve more. My clients deserve more. And I'm going to work daily to study it, practice it, fail it, and learn it - in honor of my art, my muse, my clients, and my Self."
  • Set a calendar reminder for three months from now with the above words, and have it repeat every three months, forever. Every time, stand up, and read it out loud.
  • Grab your cellphone and send a text message to me at 830-688-1564 with one word: "Kaizen". This doesn't secretly sign you up for anything - it's just an action. A step. Momentum. A connection. A public commitment to yourself in front of another human being that says, "I've read these words and I am moving forward." Lao-tzu wrote, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
  • Brainstorm session: Are you better than you were yesterday? Are you better than you were a year ago? In what ways? What growth opportunities have you missed? Are you going to miss them this year? How are you going to make progress this year? What are the Next Steps? Write this down and file away in your Brainstorms folder.
  • Start practicing humility and confidence today. Choose from the above list, and take action today. I'd suggest picking three photographers whose work you love, and reaching out to them by phone or e-mail to ask for a casual mentorship relationship. Ask them humbly if they would be willing to look at your art, or your web site, or your marketing, and offer any advice they may have. This will provide you guidance, confidence, and accountability - three key ingredients to learning and improving in any endeavor.
  • My writing at PartTimePhoto.com exists to serve your needs as an amateur photographer making the transition to paid professional. I appreciate and welcome your readership, and invite you to subscribe to my e-mail newsletter at the top of any page of this site.
  • If anything in this post has spoken to and inspired you, please comment below, drop me an e-mail, or call or text me at 830-688-1564 and let me know. I'd love to hear how you use these ideas to better your part time photography business!

What is success?

Many start-up photographers have an unrealistic vision of what success is for a professional.

This unrealistic vision is created, maintained, and promoted by professional organizations, photography vendors, and the 'gurus' of the photography industry who are all too happy to charge you $499, $999, or more to teach you how you can have a million dollar business just like theirs.

There is nothing the grognards enjoy more than telling aspiring photographers every way in which they're not 'real professionals.'

You don't have enough megapixels.

You don't have enough prime lenses.

You don't have enough years as an unpaid apprentice.

You don't derive 100-percent of your independent, full-time income from your photography.

And the vendors that serve the professional (and consumer, and prosumer) markets promote the same mentality - you never have enough pixels, dynamic range, ISO, frames per second, sharpness, clarity, power.

The gurus do it too - you never have enough talent, enough experience, enough resources, enough Photoshop actions, enough good ideas, enough professional training.

You are endlessly inadequate.

That's the not-so-secret secret of most marketing: create a need, then fill it. Individuals and companies have been making fortunes this way since the dawn of commerce.

If you listen to the photography industry and those who make money from it, I can guarantee you will never be adequate. What you have will never be good enough. There will always be someone or something better that you have to have if you're ever going to be successful.

Success.

What's their definition of success?

Better, what's yours?

And one better: what would your definition of success be if it weren't influenced by all these voices telling you how inadequate you are?

There is nothing wrong with boutique photography; it's the high-end of professional portraiture, not unlike Ferrari and Bugatti are at the high end of the auto industry.

How many folks do you know who drive a Veyron?

How many folks do you know who spend thousands of dollars a year on portraits for their home?

Of course this market exists - but to hear it told by the grognards and vendors and professional associations, there is only one vision of success: high-end, boutique photography. It's luxury or nothing, as they tell it.

Aspiring to be the Kia, Ford, Toyota, or Honda of your market? That won't do.

Your immediate goal is just to get started as the Zero Skateboard, Trek Bicycle, or Vespa Scooter of photography in your area? You're ruining the industry!

Here you are trying to better learn your camera and land your first paying client, and they're already convincing you you need more: more training, more apprenticeship, more DVDs, more webinars, more camera, more experience.

Striving to become the kind of photographer who books those $1,500-a-shoot clients on the regular is a great goal to have - but is it the only goal to have?

What do you want to do with your art? What do you want to do with your business? What purpose does your photography business serve in your life?

A creative outlet?

An opportunity to make money doing something you love?

An exit strategy to get you out of a day job you deplore?

A way to stay home with your kids but still contribute to your household income?

As Stephen Covey would, let's step back, get some perspective, and start with the end in mind: what's your vision of success? How do you want your photography business to change your life?

What do you want it to be tomorrow? What about in five years? Ten years?

What's your vision of success? Stripped of all the outside influence, all the marketing hype - what do you really want your business to do for you?

"Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. It causes you to work not on what you like, but what you’d like to like." - Y-Combinator founder Paul Graham, How To Do What You Love

If you want more megapixels, big strobes, and a retail studio on Main Street - that's a great vision! If you want to book one shoot a week and make enough money to take your kids and family on an amazing vacation every year - that's a great vision, too. If you want to make art, make money, make better art, and make better money for it - that's just as great.

There is no wrong answer. I just want you to look at your art, your business, and your vision of success with it, and define it with clarity and purity - away from the biased influence of vendors and gurus who make their money by making you feel never-good-enough.

And how you define success today may be completely different from how you define it next year, or even next month. Nothing is ever set in stone - that's part of the beauty of owning your own business. No matter what anyone else thinks or says, you're the boss. You are in charge.

What is success to me?

Being profitable.

Having zero debt.

Earning enough in-pocket money from each shoot to leave a big grin on my face.

Having fun working with clients I love.

Getting better, a little each day - as an artist, and as a business owner.

Blessing my clients with my best work for a fair price.

Being blessed by my clients for the work I do.

Making enough profit from my business to have a tangible effect on the comfort and happiness of my wife and children.

Earning enough to reinvest in my community - through donations, fundraisers, and volunteering.

Earning enough to ensure my overhead (including taxes and repairs) is covered without stress.

Employing the expertise of others to ensure my business is legal and stress-free, so I can focus on my photography and my clients.

Being in control of my time, my bookings, and with whom I work.

It's a big picture. And, at least for me, it has nothing to do with glorious levels of fame or fortune. Success isn't big cameras, big lenses, big billboards, or a big studio - unless you want it to be.

Because of the constant distractions of chasing dreams that weren't mine, it took me over a decade to define what I truly wanted out of my art and my business. And since I gained that clarity, I've been able to focus and make incredible progress down the path that's right for me.

My path isn't your path, nor is yours mine. Nor is Vincent Laforet's or Anne Geddes' or James Nachtwey's.

Said far better than I could, philosopher Alain de Botton: "One of the interesting things about success is that we think we know what it means. A lot of the time our ideas about what it would mean to live successfully are not our own. They’re sucked in from other people. And we also suck in messages from everything from the television to advertising to marketing, etcetera. These are hugely powerful forces that define what we want and how we view ourselves. What I want to argue for is not that we should give up on our ideas of success, but that we should make sure that they are our own. We should focus in on our ideas and make sure that we own them, that we’re truly the authors of our own ambitions. Because it’s bad enough not getting what you want, but it’s even worse to have an idea of what it is you want and find out at the end of the journey that it isn’t, in fact, what you wanted all along." (from his 2009 TED talk; hat tip to BrainPickings)

It's equal parts freeing and terrifying - to know that your success can be anything you want it to be, and you are solely in control of and responsible for that success.

But what a beautiful stress, no? It's like seeing the prettiest girl in the park, knowing you just have to talk to her - and then doing it.

What happens next?

That's up to you, my friends.

Next Steps

  • Click here: James@banderaoutlaw.com. Tell me what your (new?) vision of success is. Is it different than it was 15 minutes ago? What do you really want to do with your art and your business?
  • Brainstorm session: You just did it! Cut and paste your e-mail to me into your notepad, and file it away in your Brainstorms folder.
  • With your vision of success more purely defined, make a quick brainstorm checklist of steps you need to take to improve in each arena - your art, your business acumen, your marketing skills. Break these steps down as small and simple as you can; you're drawing a road map to reach your vision of success. You're going to take detours, have wrecks, and go off road both purposefully and accidentally on this journey, but give yourself a map to navigate by.
  • Look at your check list. What step can you take today? Lace up, and lean into it!
  • My writing at PartTimePhoto.com exists to serve your needs as an amateur photographer making the transition to paid professional. I appreciate and welcome your readership, and invite you to subscribe to my e-mail newsletter at the top of any page of this site.
  • If anything in this post has spoken to and inspired you, please comment below, drop me an e-mail, or call or text me at 830-688-1564 and let me know. I'd love to hear how you use these ideas to better your part time photography business!